Saturday, December 29, 2012

Bread Bowls and Igloos

The year 2012 is almost at a close. Reflecting on this past year has me sitting low to the ground. Being closer to the earth feels really safe and comforting. Letting go of what is and what was, and reaching for what will be has me breathing very deeply. My inner core is wanting to know what is my purpose, and how do I live and walk authentically. These are conversations I revisit over and over again. And so here they are again.

Questions are coming and no answers to follow. Oh I like those....I smile because I despise them as well.  Why such a need and desire of knowing?...the need for control takes over and lives with each step, and then I feel lost. Pressing the reset button all day sometimes to make sure my need for control is at bay. I wish for my heart to stay open, my throat to be sweetly free, my belly to stay soft, my eyes to see clearly, and my words to be truthful.
I wish for the practice of radical acceptance of self, my beloved, my children, and my family and friends...My wish is to let go of the beliefs I have tied myself to that no longer benefit me. And to honor that they once did.

It was the perfect snow for an igloo and snow people, but we chose to build an igloo. It was so much fun to play in the snow. The kids trickled inside as they got cold. It was lovely to be alone in the snow. I sat in the semi igloo feeling like I was being held. It was beautiful. And I wasn't cold. Not for a second.

"Deep own in the belly of the night
Dream sweet winter dreams
And lie safe in your grandmothers arms
Still as a seed,
Still as a seed"

 After Trinity went inside I made one more row on the wall so it was higher when i sat in it.

I made some red lentil soup yesterday and I made another version of a bread bowl. It was so much fun. The kids loved it. Perfect for a cold icy day.

Instead of making New Years Resolutions, I invite you instead to let go of things you no longer need to make space for the things that you do. Happy New Year!

...I would like to beg you dear *Being*, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

~Rainer Maria Rilke
**Sir** i changed it because i felt it was more appropriate. in the quote it is Sir.

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