You are so in love with your sisters. You want to be with them all the time, and when they want their space you hit them and scratch them. And when they want to be with you and you want your space, you hit them and scratch them. When you want milk in the middle of me doing something where I need my upper body to do it, you hit me and scratch me...I love you so much but this hitting and scratching seriously has to stop. I must not be seeing the underlying needs.
Maybe you just need me to stop everything I am doing, and be with you. With you. Maybe you are needing me, just me. To be with you. Maybe you need me to stop multitasking and give you all of my attention. Maybe two weeks ago all of this was working just fine and now you have gotten 14 days older and you are needing just what you are needing. And what you are needing is a moment or moments with mama. For mama to be mama. For mama to stop thinking. For mama to stop fighting with herself. For mama to stop being so tense. For mama to let go, so mama can be with her little Luna. They way Luna knows mama to be. I am so sorry mama's been away for so long. I know you don't understand, you are not supposed to. Mama was just having a rough time. I get it now. I see you. And I see what you are needing. Mama needs it too.
I love you so much I will try again tomorrow.
Today we went to Barnes and Noble. Luna grabbed all of the stuffed animals and placed them on a round table. They are all in a circle and looking at each other. It looks so sweet. She's talking to them, and for them. When asked what they were doing, she answered, "They are getting ready for an animal fight."
What you can't see is the dog in the middle is fighting a spider. I must be the spider. When I loose I go back on the shelf. As I was watching, the fighting was them actually talking. She cracks me up!