Monday, October 24, 2011

Winning and Losing

Two weeks ago, our homeschooling group went to Art in the Orchard. It is a sculpture exhibit at an orchard farm in Easthampton. It was beautiful.
We found out that day that there was going to be a scarecrow making contest in town that weekend. Trinity really wanted to enter. She already new what she wanted to make. I support her in her interests. So it wasn't a question. She got everything she needed to make the scarecrows.
It was in the bag for her. She was very optimistic. She was asking if she could take it home after she won and got her prize. I was very aware of her excitement and wondered how attached she was to the prize. She worked really hard on it, BellaSky helped a little. Trinity would say to me,"Mom when I get the prize I am not sharing it with BellaSky. This is my scarecrow." I said, "Maybe BellaSky can have a small piece of the prize." She didn't like that too much.

she takes her creations very seriously

it was very hot in the sun

the body on its belly

stuffing the 2nd body...there are more. I just didn't take pics of them

making the face. she wanted to use the dolls head but there wasn't a way for it to stay on. she thought it was creepy looking. it was creeping me out.

making the baby scarecrow faces

Trinity tying the faces onto the babies

she picked her location after registering her scarecrow family. the judges walk around town and choose the winners.

Luna really loved herself..(it was really Trinity, but Luna said it was her because I was holding the baby)

Trinity called it Trina

we went back that evening for the announcement of the winners. Trinity brought her best friend Rosalie for support.

waiting for the winners. i was crossing my fingers too

She did not win. She turned around and smiled at me when they said thank you for all those who entered. I saw the sadness in her smile. I put my hand over her shoulder. She was fine for a little while. After we left we went and picked up her scarecrow. When we were half way home is when she started to cry. She didn't understand why she didn't win, and she didn't understand why they didn't acknowledge her scarecrow(they acknowledged some of the scarecrows). I really didn't know what to say. I could only listen. I reminded her of the fun she had making it; gently. She kept saying, if only they talked to her to get to know who she was. That was really hard to hear because she was thinking they were judging her. You put your heart into something and then for it to be judged...she didn't understand. I told her they weren't judging her as a person they were only looking at the scarecrows...My heart was breaking for her. She was really sad. I was trying to remember what it felt like to loose, so I could share my experience before she asked me. Then she asked me and my mind went blank. I know I have lost in my life. And I was a very competitive person in sports. When I lost, I remember people saying you only can do your best. And that has to be good enough. That is what I believe now, but did I believe that then?
I had a very hard time handling this one. I loved her up and I was there for her.
How do you feel about situations like this? It would really help me to hear your thoughts. I am not on facebook much. If you can email me or note it on here. I would really appreciate it.

She is an amazing person. And is a winner in my eyes. I hope she feels that way too. It brings tears to my eyes just saying it.


keekaimama said...

I love how you just made room for her to feel her is so painful to see our kids struggling to understand things and watch them be in pain. I just want to send you some loving too for being you. Oh, and I love Trinity's scarecrow. Contests are pretty stupid. If I had a scarecrow making day, I would give out a prize to everyone- like the judge's job would be to find something wonderful and unique about each one. Trinity was probably not alone in feeling like she lost something special. Really, the people running it missed out on being able to see the uniqueness in each person's creation. Trinity is very wise and she will use this when she grows up to make a difference in the way kids are treated. Hugs to you all.

Natalie said...

Oh Jen, thanks so much for your post.:) Trinity said to me (I forgot to add it) that she wanted me to be the judge and say all the things that I see in all the scarecrows. Yeah this was a hard one..I am grateful for the support. I can feel it. oxox