Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Our Own Rhythm

Summer is coming to an end and it is so hard not to feel like a deadline is on the horizon. We have been home educators intentionally for 5 years now and for some reason this is the first time I feel like school is beginning. I wonder if it has anything to do with dance classes starting up and possibly voice lessons, or planning the fall for the homeschooling group I started. We have such wonderful plans that our children will love because they are filled with their interests.
It is hard to avoid feeling the rhythm the rest of the world dances to. I am finding my body wants to join in on the fun, yet I have so much resistance. It really just isn't the song I can get into. I/We dance to a different drum. And sometimes it feels like I am on the dance floor all alone. Which in some cases is perfect because I have all the space I need. Starting a homeschooling group has been a wonderful gift. We are called Whole Life Learners. Over the summer we were meeting on Wednesdays. Starting Sept we will meet on Thursdays. It feels great to know that we will meet with other families once a week and dance together.
I have to say I have allowed it to take up a lot of my mental space. My mind keeps running and running. I can't make it stop. I want to just slow down and be.
My children are getting older, and their interests are growing. It is only in time that we will inevitably get busier. I want to embrace this difference from the years before. I celebrate their interests. It is wonderful to find ways to expand our knowledge. For example, the other day we were driving home and I saw the woman who walks her horse and pulled over and introduced myself. I told her that my almost 5 yr old wants a pony and has named her pony that she doesn't even have yet. We will now be going to Joan's house and helping her care for her beautiful horse every Monday for an hour. It turns out she is need of some help with her horse because she is getting older and the work is getting harder. It is a beautiful exchange. The kids are elated.
My calendar is filling up beautifully with dance classes for Luna and BellaSky, maybe voice lessons for Trinity, gym class, and horse play(that is what I am calling it) and Thursday WLL gatherings. And I am overwhelmed by the thought of it all.

So how will I remember to care for myself and fill up that self love cup in the midst of all of this? Well I will just have to put it on the I am happy to say I am returning to the first love of my life. Dancing. I will be starting off with one or two classes a week. Floor Ballet and modern dance. I haven't danced in 10 years. I have been talking about going back for 4 yrs now and it's about time I actually did it. It scares the hell out of me and i am so out of shape, but I don't care.
Small injections of self love and care throughout the day and week. Well there is one. It isn't as big as a tattoo or going away for a weekend, it is smaller. Which is what I want to get used to doing for me. It is a start.

So maybe there isn't a deadline for anything starting September. It is a beginning!


Angela said...

beautiful. it's a weird time of year with everyone around us comparing notes about teachers, and lamenting (or cheering!) the end of summer vacation for their kids. Just keep on dancing, lady, you and your kids! (-:

Natalie said...

That is still hard for me to hear.."Thank god school starts again, I can't wait for my child to be in school"
Thanks for the feedback. It feels good to know your