Sunday, September 5, 2010

Compassion at the Museum

We went to the museum a couple of days ago, I wanted to write what happened that night but I fell asleep and then...well you know how it goes..
We just arrived and Trinity wanted to go to the store first this time( we usually go somewhere in the middle of our visit)It is very much organized by them. This was out of our routine.
We're looking at rocks and magnets. There was a mom there with two children, twins, they must have been almost 2 at least, maybe a little older. They were both playing near the truck and car table with BellaSky and Luna. One kept tripping over BellaSky's feet. BellaSky was feeling a little frustrated about it. It was a small space between the table and the chairs. He was trying very hard to get to the trucks. The mother kept yelling at him to watch out. I helped BellaSky with finding a space where it won't happen again. Then the daughter runs behind the counter and the mom is so shocked that she did that and yells at her like she is supposed to know that wasn't allowed or something. It was very shocking to hear her speak that way to little ones. While she is there at the counter, she is yelling her sons name while he was playing, telling him to go to her. She then starts yelling at her daughter again. This yelling goes on for like 5 to 7 mins. Her son starts to wander out of the store to play with what is outside of it. So Luna and I walk over to make sure he doesn't leave by just saying hi and playing with the dinosaur puppets. Trinity comes to me and starts crying and asking me why she is talking to her babies that way, and that it is really hurting her and how can a mommy be mad at them they are just babies.. I agreed it was hard to hear her speak to them that way. I went back to the truck table where BellaSky was and continued to console Trinity. I was explaining to her that it is sad to witness that. I felt sad too and my belly was hurting hearing her speak that way. I affirmed that it wasn't ok to talk to children that way. I also explained to her that it looked like the mom was feeling really overwhelmed with one child walking one way and the other was walking the other way. It doesn't make it ok, but sometimes we say things we don't mean, or we don't even realize we sound that way. She kept crying for those children..I finally said maybe she needs some help, maybe we can help her. Trinity's eyes lit up and said yes with relief. So we walked out of the store and found her still yelling for her daughter to come to her. I smiled and said, "hi. I told her it is so hard when you are out numbered. I have children like to go in different directions too..can we help you? I know it is hard and it can be frustrating at times. Let us help..."
She smiled and seemed embarrassed but didn't refuse. I walked over to her son who was walking away, to lead him in the direction she wanted to go in(which was out of the museum) and press the wheelchair access button to open the door. Trinity goes to him and talks to to him and help him push the button. She begins to yell at him again for running towards the button, I turned to her and said compassionately, he isn't trying to upset you, he thinks it is fun to push the button.
She said surrendering, I know..I don't have an extra diapers and he sitting in poop and.......she just lets it all out. I touch her shoulder and just felt so much love for her...when we think we are prepared something else happens...

By the time we got outside the daughter wanted to be held and the boy wanted to run, but she grabbed his hand. The he wanted to be held. She told him to walk but then Trinity offered to hold Luna while I held her bag to the car so she could hold both of them, but she said no thank you. Thanked us for helping. She was very nice. We parted with smiles.

Trinity felt better. I felt better. Trinity and I talked about it a little. I was really aware of not talking more then I needed to about what happened. So instead I just waited. She told me she was glad we helped and glad she stopped yelling at them. I told her I was glad too. I told her we all need support sometimes and help letting out our feelings. She then went back to playing in the store.

I have to say that I felt better too just being there. It was better then being apart of all the people staring at her and making faces. I probably had a face too, or maybe my eyes just bulging out of my head. I remembered an article I read about mothers helping mothers in situations like that. That gave me permission to just go up to her...and Trinity had something to do with that as well. She is so amazing. I don't know what us being there did for her, but at least for that moment she wasn't alone.

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