Sunday, May 10, 2009

Instinctual Beings

When I put my children to sleep I am either holding their hand, tickling them, or breastfeeding..Trinity liked all of them up until she turned 5, now it is just tickling and hand holding, BellaSky loves all three, and Luna well it is all about the breast for now. This particular night not just one of them but both of them I think it was the full moon yesterday, anyway Trinity put my fingers to her lips and started to lick my finger and she fell asleep that way and guess what? So did BellaSky! It was so... I can't even think of a word. It felt soo.....right! Like of course why not?
As I was putting them to bed tonight which was just as nice but no finger licking I was just thinking about last night and how primal they are, especially at this age..How can I keep them that way? One of my many questions that don't have answers.

During my childbirth class when we discuss spiritual cesarean I mention when you birth your baby and they bring the baby to you over the curtain, if you can't touch her or him, lick them if you can. We are like animals who need to feel them, why not lick them leave our scent on them so they can feel you and smell you. You are their mother, connect with them anyway you can.
It reminded me of this one client I was a doula for a couple of years ago. She was a single mom decided to have a baby on her own, and she tried so hard to give birth vaginally but hospital/doctor called "not progressing fast enough" I was in there with her talking her through it. When they brought the baby over to her I whispered in her ear taste your baby and let her smell you..She was crying and she picked up her head and gave such a lioness lick. Oh my it was so beautiful. Then she told me to stay with her baby and I went over and she told them she wanted me to cut the cord. It was a very intense emotional moment for me.

We are amazing strong honest instinctual creatures. I love that my girls reminded me of that and I got to revisit this wonderful memory of this birth. Which leaves me knowing how much I love my work and miss it too. I haven't been at a birth in so long but at least I am apart of it before they have their baby.. What an honor.

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