Saturday, February 28, 2009

Giving Birth

I have been thinking so much about giving birth to Luna which lead me to remembering BellaSky and Trinity's birth. They have been the most profound, life changing moments in my life. Every time I have given birth it has brought me closer to the Divine. I feel yet another layer has been shed from my being and I feel this sense of rawness,. I am not the same person I was before I gave birth to Luna, or BellaSky or Trinity. I am so grateful for that because I can't be the same person. I am meant to evolve, as we all are. I love embracing that, embracing myself. I feel like we as women get that though. Don't we. We know this place, it can be easily forgotten but it isn't hard to remember. There is magik that happens after dying and coming back again, transition, losing control and letting your baby take over, all of that happens right? We surrender and come back as someone else.

I would love for George to see me in this. It is so hard for him to grasp it. He tries so hard. It almost feels like when I went to Shalom for the first time and I come back as this transformed person. He had no clue what I was feeling or going through because he never experienced Shalom.....until he went...Ahhhhh yes he gets it. I wish for him to feel this with me..But maybe it is ok that he doesn't. It is mine and mine alone. I love what my body is capable of doing. I love being a woman. What a gift. I get to raise three women.. Wow what an honor.

1 comment:

Laura said...

I enjoyed this post.

Sometimes, there are things that I wish Greg would just understand too, but not this. I know that my girls and their dad will have their own moments and that their births were special to him too. But, I love that the feelings you describe are something that only a mom can feel - that only a mom can share with her child. Maybe I'm selfish though : )