Sunday, February 15, 2009

BellaSky


When I think of BellaSky I laugh. She reminds me of my sister Vanessa, which is ironic because they share the same middle name, Del Ray.
She is very funny and so is Vanessa. They both like sweets, though I think my sister has weaned herself from them. And most of all they are both crazy!
BellaSky has a very strong spirit. She knows she has a right to be here on Earth like she has a purpose and she knows it. She doesn't need permission to do anything. She just does it.
She is very independent. She doesn't need help. Sometimes she will ask, and trust that she will ask if she needs it.
She loves dinosaurs and watches Land Before Time alot. She just asked for the movie but then said it has scary parts that aren't healthy for her belly. So she asked to see the songs. She just cracks me up. She plays with her dinosaurs everyday.
She loves to be happy. Everyday she wakes up and lives a happy day. When she is angry she wants to be left alone and then has mama milk.
BellaSky is a force and I breath with her and sometimes for her. I am really enjoying letting her shine through all her emotions and struggles. She comes out of them so much stronger and one layer less.
Having Luna has been a challenge with BellaSky. She has been very angry and hitting a lot. We are all trying to be compassionate. Poor Trinity has been literally her punching bag. We are doing cranial sacral work and now she is releasing her emotions very differently. More crying, alot of crying-deep sadness cries. which I think is very good. BellaSky kinds of turns her sadness into anger, then doesn't release it. She kind of holds a grudge for a little while. So this process has been very good for her. And it is getting better.
I sat up with her one night while she cried and I just cried because I can really see her and her needs and it is so hard to meet all of them. And I want so badly to do that because it is so important to me. But I realize that I am just one person and I can't sometimes and that is ok. I held her and she nursed on and off. Luna is an amazing sleeper, so I could do that for BellaSky. It was a sweet time for me and BellaSky.
BellaSky BellaSky my sweet firecracker. You teach me so much. Thank you my love.

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