Thursday, December 25, 2008

Me and my baby

Last night at about 1:30am I woke up with contractions. Nothing major. They actually felt really good. As I was breathing, I could hear the distinct breath of the girls and George. Their breath, my breath, my being on my hands and knees and rocking my hips like a figure eight along with the rain drops outside it was this rhythmic dance between us and nature.
I crawled out of bed (that is the only way I can actually move my body these days) and went to the bathroom, then that's when I felt stronger contractions. I grabbed my ball and brought it into my bedroom and threw a knitted blanket over me and rocked. I felt the raindrops hitting the watery ground. I felt the spirit of my mother behind me and my sleeping family in front of me. It was so sweet, and so gratifying. I felt so empowered and so entitled. I don't know why that word comes to mind. Maybe the proper word is My Rite Of Passage. I felt that. Closing my eyes I envisioned my path that I will walk. It awaits me with open arms knowing I can do this. I have a right to do this and I can't wait to do this.
My mantra was -I will birth my baby safely in my home with my girls and my beloved partner.
I have done it twice before, and once by myself before. I felt so amazingly powerful.
Then the contractions stopped. So I went to bed.
All I could think about after that was I can't wait for morning for Trinity and BellaSky to wake up so we can open up gifts...

Blessings and Light and Merry Christmas


Elaine said...

I peeped in to quick look see, instead read a crapload, and found: a treasure trove of blessings,wisdom, sweetness, grace, vulnerability, and so much LOVE in this family I don't even know except meeting the mama once! You are just riding the waves and it's beautiful! Much of it moved me to tears. Sending you love and light for the birth of your newest family member, and each one of you.

Stephanie said...

What a beautiful night!