So on mothers day I took a pregnancy test and to my surprise it was positive. I kind of knew all along but I didn't want to believe it. I wrapped the sticks for George and told him I had a gift for him and he said with such remorse," I didn't get you anything." I'm thinking, Yes you did.
I am not one to make any long term plans, but George and I had made some really good ones. Adventures that were going to guide us into concentrating on ourselves and each other. The children are getting older and we will have a little more freedom. They were great plans, but the universe had bigger plans for us. I knew a third was waiting. I felt the energy as soon as we moved here. After BellaSky was born Trinity looked out the window and said ok when ever you are ready little baby brother, we are waiting for you.. So who knows. We shall see who is entering our family in Jan.
Trinity is very excited to have another baby, she keeps hugging my belly and has been very helpful and nurturing. It is very sweet and loving. My little mother. She doesn't want to have babies, she said BellaSky will have them, though she may adopt. She knows what she wants. It may change.
As for me I am feeling good so far. A little queasy here and there, but good. I think emotionally am still getting over the shock. Letting feelings and emotions flow out of me as they need to. It was meant to be. This child has chosen me and us as a family and I know it is a blessing deep in my heart. I am trusting the process.
The one thing that is really hard to accept is that BellaSky is still so little. I know it will all work out but it is hard to see that she will be ok with a little baby in my arms right now. So there is some guilt there..but when I look at the bigger picture she chose me as well and chose this family and life. So it will all be ok.
George's new saying is, "That's what happens when you party naked!" lol:)
It's all good