Saturday, March 29, 2008

TV and Trinity, Trinity and TV

We never thought we would see the end of this phase. The TV has now become just another activity in the house that is available to her. Trinity is not using or needing it in ways that she did before. She is now trusting that we won't take it away. She used to want to watch it everyday, sometimes all day. It was hard for me to trust that this would end. Everyone in the unschooling community were saying that it would end and it was common for children who had limitations on TV to have a need to want to watch it all the time. I had such a hard time trusting that. Then I learned that even when we told her she could watch it if she chose to, she was still feeling our energy of control and struggle. I really had to surrender and trust and allow her to go through this. When I did it all seemed to level out. The pendulum shifted and is balanced. She wants to paint and play outside and make up scripts and so much more. Sometimes when she does watch it she is coloring at the same time. We don't have cable service, but we have lots of DVDs available to her. If we ever get service. I am sure it would start all over again. And I am ok with that. It will bring up some dialogue on commercialism. We have had many discussions on advertisements.

I realize when I was scared of something my natural instinct was to quickly stop it from happening or when I felt a lesson needed to be learned I would just talk at her to teach that lesson, but what I was really doing was missing out on the opportunity of getting to know her and really connect with her. I was missing out on the journey worth living for. We were also not providing her with the space to really process what she needed to for her own being. It is such a natural tendency to want to control children because that is what was done to us. I don't want to control her. I want her to be able to meet a need that she is having. And we want to support her in that. Just like I want to be able to meet my own needs. If I can't meet my own needs I become upset and crazy. She is no different than I. I wish someone is able to help me meet my needs. Well I do, George. But it isn't his responsibility. When we are told what our needs are and when to have them or not to have them, we grow up and find others responsible for meeting them. We have a hard time taking responsibility in meeting our own needs.
Our philosophy has changed so much. It is so clear to us now what and how and who we want to be. And the women we want to raise.


Autumn said...

oh i really identify with this. i wrote about this letting go to trust a lot with weapons...that was my first real conscious struggle with becoming a family different from what i had previously imagined before this wonderful journey into unschooling. and it has flowed into many other area, tv included (son watching scooby doo right now!). i've been meaning to write about tv in our family...thanks for sharing your own struggles and peace with it for your family.

Natalie said...

Hey Autumn, thanks for your feedback. I love your blog and website. You really know how to capture the essence of children and their surroundings and those really special moments. My favorite was the picture of the baby in the arms of two people.
Here is one of Trinity's quotes when it comes to Disney World...She was watching the previews to a movie and after it was done, she said I want to go to disney world